Mother's Day

Today is mother's day, the 10th of May.

11 years ago, on Mother's Day my mother's mother died of cancer in the Halifax Hospital. The day has fallen like this only once before since and it really sucks when it happens again. Sort of a cruel joke to lose your mother/grandmother on the one day of the year you are specifically supposed to celebrate them.

The one person in my family who shared my love of horses never got to see me own one, never got to see me show and isn't here now to see how my life is going. I don't believe in heaven or any of that nonsense, which is probably a good thing because I certainly wouldn't want her watching me from above and seeing all the crap and shoddy decisions I've made since she left.

It has been 11 years and I still haven't dealt with it. Don't think I ever will and wonder if I'll ever.