life

nobody@vox.com(Katherine) — Wed, 21 May 2008 23:20:33 -0300

When did we all grow up? When did we become these people who had separate lives with separate responsibilities? Did it creep up on us one day when we're spread around the world trying to get our niche? Why weren't we better prepared?

Im homesick. Not for a place, but for a time. When driving to Moncton and fries with mayo were fun. When you had longtime friends close for a night of silly games and memories were made around every corner. Where you were looking forward to leaving all the drama and worries of teenage angst behind for the bright future of adulthood.

Then you get there and realize that all the insecurities, all the drama and all the issues you were hoping to leave behind are just compounded by all the insecurities, all the drama and all the issues of adulthood. Add that to the fact one must become self-reliant AND now your support group is spread all around the world.....just equals one big letdown.

Nostalgia's a bitch.

Talked to my two favorite brothers the last two nights. Felt great to chat with them and it felt like they'd never left. Never felt so alone as after I hung up the phone though. And never felt so guilty as when I realized that I hoped they were unhappy where they were and would move closer. Nice friend eh?

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Love and Loofa

nobody@vox.com(Katherine) — Wed, 21 May 2008 00:57:44 -0300

There are few things in my life that I enjoy as much as my loofa. I could spend hours in the shower if it weren't for the hot water running out and my skin turning into an irreversible prune.

I don't understand why anyone would choose to wash their body with their hand and a bar of soap, when the luxury of frothy body wash in abundence is so close and inexpensively acquired.

Had a great talk with Jared tonight over the phone. It's so nice to keep in touch over the internet, but every once in a while it's great to traverse the time zones and have an actual voice to voice conversation. Sharing catty bitching and laughs (both at our own and others' expense) was well received and needed. I'll be giving him another call next week before I move to Dartmouth and the lack of free long distance goes the way of free groceries and free electricity. Sadly, couldn't get ahold of Jess afterwards, so will try earlier tomorrow.

Only 3 more days of work and then a week to get things together. Wish student loan would hurry up so I could fill out my information and get that ball rolling.

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Update of entire blog

nobody@vox.com(Katherine) — Fri, 16 May 2008 22:21:39 -0300

Decided to go back and paste my other journal entries over here. Will vow to update properly and regularly.

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Step out and be brave

nobody@vox.com(Katherine) — Fri, 16 May 2008 19:19:55 -0300

As a reformed fat girl there are many things I need to learn and to relearn. One of them is how to feel comfortable wearing anything that shows part of my legs.

For years, I was scared of capris. Nothing makes you look rounder than cutting your pants off halfway up your calves. Skirts were a complete no no and a dress had to be all the way down. Keep those legs and thighs hidden.

Today is the start of a more confident (at least outwardly so) me. Today's outfit consists of a skirt...which is above my knees. Sitting in my bedroom I feel weird wearing it after covering up for so many years. I have to get some groceries and pick Tony up from the bus stop.

Me thinks I will go get a coffee so Im not sitting here panicking and wanting to change. *Big Sigh*

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Dan Savage is God

nobody@vox.com(Katherine) — Wed, 14 May 2008 18:19:07 -0300

Was reading the Dan Savage Columns I missed lately and came across the best quote:

The HIV virus isn't fire and gay men aren't twigs; it doesn't matter how vigorously you rub us against each other, we're not suddenly going to burst into HIV.

Best.quote.ever.

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Whiskey Doctor Day

nobody@vox.com(Katherine) — Mon, 12 May 2008 21:18:06 -0300

Whiskey went to the vet's office on Saturday for her vaccinations. Gina said she's about 5kg overweight. This dog barely eats anything (well, we barely feed her anything) yet she's damn near 75lbs. I think she has a glandular problem.

Just took her out the back for a walk and she runs like a deer. Thought I'd help her exercise a little more so took a toy to play fetch with. I'd like everyone to know that I am pro at fetching. She has me trained well.

Looked out the window and noticed that in 24hrs the grass decided to get green....and long. Me thinks I have a lot of mowing to do this weekend if the rain holds off.

Going to lay down for a bit before calling Tony. Fetching really takes it out of you.

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Mother's Day

nobody@vox.com(Katherine) — Sat, 10 May 2008 22:17:22 -0300

Today is mother's day, the 10th of May.

11 years ago, on Mother's Day my mother's mother died of cancer in the Halifax Hospital. The day has fallen like this only once before since and it really sucks when it happens again. Sort of a cruel joke to lose your mother/grandmother on the one day of the year you are specifically supposed to celebrate them.

The one person in my family who shared my love of horses never got to see me own one, never got to see me show and isn't here now to see how my life is going. I don't believe in heaven or any of that nonsense, which is probably a good thing because I certainly wouldn't want her watching me from above and seeing all the crap and shoddy decisions I've made since she left.

It has been 11 years and I still haven't dealt with it. Don't think I ever will and wonder if I'll ever.

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Even your friends quill you

nobody@vox.com(Katherine) — Fri, 09 May 2008 23:57:26 -0300

Spent the afternoon at work removing a hundred quills from the face of a cute mix breed dog at work. Dog is from NF and since there are no porcupines there, though taking on one wouldn't be such a bad idea. I've never seen so many in the roof of a mouth as with this dog. Best part was, said dog didn't like coming round from the anesthetic, so I had to sit in a kennel holding it down while it screamed coming out of it. Cute mix breed wasn't so cute after that.

Had lunch around 4pm which consisted of a coffee and smoke outside the cafe. Bonus points I got to chat with a client's husband about the UK and actually had a moment away from work....doesn't happen very often during the day.

Was thinking about a dream I had a few years ago. Jared and Mike were both porcupines in my back yard and I was trying to relocate them. They attacked me and I got quilled through my jeans. I can still remember waking up and my leg hurting where the quills had been.

Im procrastinating too much right now and have things that must get done. This is the weekend of getting things done. Whether I like it or not. Time to take the bull by the horns....tomorrow.

Trace showers all weekend, but hoping to take Whiskey for a walk round Sackville after work tomorrow. Hopefully she behaves herself.

Was going to straighten my hair tonight, but procrastination reared it's ugly head. So now, I must shower again tomorrow morning to do my hair. Tomorrow at work they are doing interviews to fill my position. Still not sure how to feel about that yet. Im going to miss it.

Must try and sleep now. Even if I just want to go somewhere, anywhere and just be outside. Feeling rather clastophobic.

Also realized that my mood foxes seem to all be the same. Rather fitting since my face doesn't seem to change by my mood either

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Dreams of cheese

nobody@vox.com(Katherine) — Thu, 08 May 2008 02:25:13 -0300

Spent 20 minutes today at supper trying to find a block of Marble cheese I had seen. Looked everywhere for it, could see it clearly in my mind.

Then realized I had a dream with said cheese in it the night before. Who dreams about cheese?

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Who owns who?

nobody@vox.com(Katherine) — Tue, 06 May 2008 22:13:05 -0300

My bed is seriously out to get me. My whole lower back is killing me....or it might be the fact I lay absolutely still for 5 hours because I don't want to disturb the cat and dog.

I thought I was supposed to be the leader of the pack?!

Work is going so slowly......

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